I woke up late this morning and had time only to take a quick shower and spend 15 minutes of quiet time before running out for my 10am class. I didn't want to wake Charles up and the last thing anyone expected was for him to be quiet and still, laying on his side not breathing. He seemed extremely healthy and my he followed my mom around in our veranda last night before we went to sleep. My mom hated animals before Charles. She didn't bond with them and it was always my dad or me cleaning up after whatever pet we had. Except with Charles was different. My mom loved him most and he loved her back the most too. He would put his paws up and hop whenever he saw my mom. He would stand on his hind legs and walk backwards, bumping into the cage behind him. That made my mom laugh every time and he must have known how happy he made her. My mom loved it but she was always afraid he'd hurt his head, so she put her hand in the cage to catch him when he would fall back. They had a special bond and it was the first time anyone ever saw my mom so enamored with a pet. My mom had been feeling lonely ever since the move, since my dad always comes home so late now and they never get to really spend time like they did back in the states. She's always under the pressure of making sure my brother is on top of his studies so he doesn't lose confidence in himself and Charles brought the warmth back into my mom's character. She cleaned every single dropping, every single mess Charles made with such joy. She loved Charles and Charles loved her.
Last night my mom was tending to her flowers in our veranda and Charles kept following her, staying close by when she watered the flowers. He did this cute nose thing which is a rabbit's way of saying hello, and my mom held him before we went to sleep. My mom and I slept on a blanket in the living room, next to the veranda, for bonding sake. I asked her if we could take Charles out so he could sleep right by our pillows but she was already asleep. So I took Charles and he climbed up on my shoulder and he kept nudging at my cheek. I put him back on his blanket and slept too.
I got a text message from my dad during class to call when I was done. I had plans to stay out until late at night today, and he told me to come home. He gave the phone to my mom and she told me Charles had died. She found him dead when she woke up after I had left. I ran to the bus stop and on my way there were three beggars without limbs, on the floor in the middle of the sidewalk in downtown Seoul, in the richest area. I was already overwhelmed with the news of Charles but I felt a wrenching deep within me telling me I had to give them what I had. The first beggar I saw I gave 1000won, which is equivalent to a dollar. After that I had 15 cents and 1 5000won bill and five 10,000won bills. The second beggar I gave my change, and I ran past the third. Except God reminded me not to love money and how selfish I was, how obsessed with money I was, to think that I couldn't give that third beggar 5 dollars. Then I broke down in the middle of Gangnam. Charles was with us for two weeks. I was reminded of Hebrews 13:2, that such a secular person like me could show hospitality to an angel. God sent Charles as my mom's angel. What if that third beggar, who was chest-down on the floor because he had no legs, singing a Korean hymn to himself, the line that says Jesus is my best hope, was an angel too? I ran back and God made it so sure to me why I live. Why he saved me and gave me a second shot at living. To be the voice of people who cannot talk, to run for people without legs, to reach out to people who don't have arms, that I get much to give much. My mom said everything Charles did last night must have been his goodbye. Charles left and brought our family back together. They say animals don't go to heaven. Except the angel who was in Charles surely went back. Wrapped in my mom's favorite rose handkerchief. And when she sees that angel with her handkerchief in heaven, I know she will be filled with joy.
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