oops, a little late again. But it seems a little quiet around here, huh. . .

This past week was a weird blur -_-; Last week I felt like God picked me up a lot Spiritually, but this week I had to really walk the walk. . . and somewhat failed.

In regards to Lent, I honestly haven't been personally prepared for Easter in the sense that I haven't been mindful of the reason behind it. But I've managed to invite a couple of the friends that I had in mind, and both seemed very open to coming. I just gotta keep praying for them.

This past week I also had a bit of a theology/methodology crisis. Reaching out to people is so hard in so many ways for me because I always feel like I'm manipulating. Trying to figure out the prettiest things to say, trying to wonder when someone's the most open to hearing what I feel obligated to say. It's so hard for me because every action I make has to have a deliberate thought for me. Geez... acting out on faith is really hard.

And I think that contributes to a greater theme this week. That I still have so so so much to learn. I always trick myself into thinking that I'm doing well somehow, and sorta overlook all the struggles that unconsciously occur below the skin's surface. Like impure motives, pride, selfishness... I realized a lot this past week that so much (or try everything) of what I do is motivated by these things.

So all-in-all, I feel like this week has been a week of tests, and that'll continue one. This weekend is supersuper packed and I still have so much to get done... It'll be so easy for me to be bitter because of how much time (I don't even want to calculate) I'll be spending doing church things this weekend :| But I've been really surprised so far. I've been praying a lot against my own flesh, and surprisingly, I haven't started to become stressed or bitter about anything and have been really hoping to know what it means to support the church.

but I will def. be super tired. But excited for all God is going to do in the next few weeks!! Easter is almost a week away. Let's not let up now!!!
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