one part of the one desire BRP that stood out to me was in matthew 7:9-12. it struck me particularly as i thought about asking and receiving from God during this fast. i know the point isn't to simply not eat and then God will answer my prayers, but i think i took it to the extreme and became scared to ask for anything in fear of being selfish. however it says in verse 11:
If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!
i tried to picture the joy a father has in providing for his son or even the feeling i get when giving someone else a gift. the Word spoke to me in that God WANTS to provide for me and is so eager to give to those he loves, and the Father always knows what's best for his children.
another part that spoke to me was the stoning of Stephen at the end of acts 7. first, i'm challenged by the love he had in calling out the people of the Sanhedrin and rebuking them for resisting of the Holy Spirit. he must have loved these people a lot in order to rebuke them in this way. i definitely want to grow in my love for the lost during this fast..even for people i don't know. also, i see the amount of sacrifice Stephen was willing to give in order to share the gospel. am i willing to give up my life for others to be saved? honestly, sometimes i don't even want to give up spending an hour with someone or just having a conversation with a prechristian. i realize how far i am from really growing in my heart for the lost
fasting update:
so far i've been able to spend more time in the Word since the fast has started, which i'm grateful for. however, i'm not really praying anymore than i was before. i'd like to commit to going to morning prayer or chapel once a week for myself so you guys can keep me accountable in that.
God has really been showing me how much better this life is with Him than without. through some simple things like just eating healthier and being more disciplined, God's teaching me that this life right now is how he always wants me to live..just constantly hungering for him. i can definitely testify that i've been able to resist certain temptations and sins not because of my own will but because of the strength i've been receiving from God. i feel like my body and soul are getting cleansed at the same time. his holy spirit also feels a lot more tangible these days..if that makes any sense. i'm excited for what God will show me the rest of the fast.
prayer requests:
1. to stay focused and productive - don't want to waste time being idle or just sleeping
2. building stronger relationships - been convicted over the fast to really build stronger brotherhoods..starting with my roommates. also to continue loving my family (which has been good recently..praise God)
3. surrender my future
so this is what a plow looks like..
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