Hi Everyone!
As usual, I've been contemplating about what it really means to be a Christ disciple as a student (seems like a life-long pursuit...) . I've been reading Daniel and it's so crazy how humble he was and his consistency in giving the glory to God. Another reason why I've been reading it is that I had a really weird dream (relating to a friend's house, a coal mine, and Bonnie from Toy Story 3) last week and became kinda jealous of Daniel's revelatory ones, haha. But Daniel is serving as a role model... in the context of the Babylonian Kingdom and the way Daniel pursued the things of God... profound! So secure in the Lord.
I guess for me, last Thursday was part of a turning point in the fast. That day I felt so much shame... Just thinking about how passive of a Christian I was and how there are so many prayer requests but I could (did) not spend time in the Lord to ask Him about these things. Just the entire day it felt like I was just wasting away, part of the vapor in that wind. That night God reminded me of the bible passage that He gave me for this year in Philipians 3:
10 I want to know Christ—yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, 11and so, somehow, attaining to the resurrection from the dead.
12 Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. 13 Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead,
But speaking of consistency (back in the beginning of the blog post), I haven't been consistent during the fast. It's been a mix of my parent's joy of feeding a college student, and, bluntly put, laziness and unwilling to difficulty to stretch on my own part. It's so funny, but the things that usually hold me back from giving Jesus my all are simple things like...sleep, or food. One time in LG, we were talking about if Jesus confronted us to leave everything and to follow Him, what would we say? And my reply was "Okay! ...but I'll just go eat some dinner first." It's kinda naive, but it really feels like a hold on my life, that I need to let go of these little comforts XD
On a different note, praise the Lord :) He's opened my eyes for me to really see that He's been always working in my life and on the campus (and in the life of a pre-christian friend in Evanston!) Some of my own thoughts have been bothering me... but I think it's a matter of the Kingdom versus fear of people. Some crazy thoughts have come into my head recently... And I wish could be wise about what is good and innocent about what is evil... or else I might become a very hardened person :/ help Jesus!
Oh, and this week I have come to respect Katie Chang so much :)
And on another side note, I'm truly sorry I seemed suddenly closed to some people this past week/weekend :( I repent in the name of Jesus.
It's crazy how this is supposed to be a fast about God, and His will and Kingdom to come on our campus, and I haven't given one hungry person food to eat, clothes to wear and have ended up sad because of my shortcomings and lack of wisdom... I guess my prayer request is that this would be a fast that God is pleased with.
Ahh, prayer requests!
The original ones were for classmates, Iran, and family ^^
I cry whenever I hear this prophetic song...especially around 2:55.
I am nothing without Jesus
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0L7WB7uxkp4&feature=related
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