Hey everyone,

I've loosely been following the BRP, but today I googled a verse today that took me back to a long-forgotten yet one of the most moving chapters in the Bible.

It's 1 Peter 5 : 6-11,

Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your fellow believers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings. And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. To him be the power for ever and ever. Amen.

I haven't been doing so great the past few weeks, and I'm rather good at putting up the façade of being altogether and happy.
Week 1 of the fast was good, in terms of the fact that I didn't eat any meats or sweets, unless cereal counts (which I guess it does). Week 2, well I'm typing this after eating an orange and some corn chips, so sadly, I guess I have failed.

In light of the passage, I guess I'm in that suffering period. I feel like I've already been devoured, because I couldn't stand firm in my faith. I felt alone, but I guess there are many other brothers and sisters going through the same problems.
It's become really hard for me to pray past thirty seconds, too. But I see that I need to pray for Christ to restore me and make me strong, firm, and steadfast. I can't get up myself and I don't think anyone else can pick me up either besides Him.



I'm devastated that this post reflects how cynical and unhappy I've become the past week, but I hope you guys can love me, the wreck I am.





I remember when I was sitting in a parking lot in the car one winter and this song came on. I remember weeping, listening to it. Especially in the middle, around 3:17, when the guitar amplifies and the lyrics and the way they are sung, reflects that explosive feeling I so often get inside my chest when I struggle with my faith.





Here's my plow..






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